Not Tonight

Verse 1:
I think I'm two ticks off from everything I said I wouldn't be
And one sigh short of contradicting all of me 'cause
On that last breath I think that I caught sight of myself
And I just can't believe I'd show this me to someone else

And survey says it's easier
To keep your friends when leaving the
Excess baggage out of the average conversation and that
Confidence can kill the curiosity that kills you with
The what-if's the why's the when's and what could have beens
What the fuck have I been doing?

Pre-Chorus 1:
I think that it's time to take the first steps in my life
To grab for what's in front of me
'Cause I've realized I've been beside myself for all this time
And I don't make the best of company

Chorus:
I
Have stood too long for sitting by the side lines
Watching idly as the opportunities just
Pass me by
Ashamed and scared of all that I've become
And though it once was fine
It's not tonight

And it will never be like this that's what I've come to decide

Verse 2:
It feels just like the morning when the mourning period dies
And I'm no fan of funerals
But before I take my leave I'll pay some quick respects to me
Rest in Peace-- 'Cause I can't keep on living in "what used to be"

But if there's anything I've learned from this it's, "Feeling worthless isn't worth it"
And measuring my self esteem is easier when weighed by me
And what it is I deem to be the epitome
Of what it is for me for now and what will be
And what I can't believe is the time lost chasing a lost cause
Praying for the day that I can shake it off

Pre-Chorus 2:
But it's not easy as you wave a hand and just like that
You're miles away from everything that possibly could make you feel bad
But at this current rate, I'll never leave my current state
So let me be the first to say that I
I don't like this

Chorus:
I
Have stood too long for sitting by the side lines
Watching idly as the opportunities just
Pass me by
Ashamed and scared of all that I've become
And though it once was fine
It's not tonight

Bridge:
I think it's finally safe to say I'm finally safe to leave this place
I've hit the bottom I can only go the other way
So I won't hold my breath in hopes that there is something left
I'll show myself the fucking door
And when I leave, I'm leaving it all

Chorus:
I
Have stood too long for sitting by the side lines
Watching idly as the opportunities just
Pass me by
Ashamed and scared of all that I've become
And though it once was fine
It's not tonight

Music and lyrics by Jay Legaspi
Copyright 2005 Jay Legaspi Music